Wilderness called me. I didn’t go looking for it. I used to have dreams at night when I went to sleep about going into a desert, a dry place with nothing around but sand. I didn’t know what it meant that my wilderness was calling me.
I call it my wilderness because it was for my building up.
It came in the form of homelessness. I passed through a season where I had nothing and no one to house me and I ended up in the streets where my only solution was God.
God wanted me to see him working first hand and when I hit rock that bottom, I saw his marvelous work and miracles, am still in awe till this day. In the wilderness or rather when I was homeless I used to hear his voice and see visions. It is so essential because I was in the streets with no food, money and anyone to call but with the vision and his voice he strengthened me and ordered my steps until I was out.
Let me share one dream I had.
So, as I told you up there, I used to have dreams that I am in the desert. It happened severally and when a dream is repeated, you know it’s gonna happen in real life. Although I didn’t understand what it meant at that time. Now I do and maaan! A desert is just that, a DESERT. It will be you and God. So as those desert dreams progressed, I would see that the desert would have a road and surely enough God made a road in the desert for me when he sent a lady to call me when I was homeless.
I also had another dream about going into a restaurant and staying there and the seat I was sitting on became a couch and girls around me were singing, stay there, stay there. You will not believe it when I tell you that when I was in the streets, homeless, I entered a restaurant and stayed at their couch for 5 days and the waiters there gave me food for free and a blanket to cover myself at night asking no questions. I mean, who is God?!!
Jesus is life. Jesus is life! No wonder I didn’t die. It is death being homeless. It is beyond torture mentally. Even walking became tasking coz the brain doesn’t know where to go, no motivation. Man, I literally felt moving was the hardest things in life. But I moved. I felt suicidal in instances but I was encouraged by God.
I had reached the end. I had faced many other battles prior for 2 years straight but this was it. But I had been trained by the holy spirit for it. I would live a second at a time, be at the present moment coz that was what I could be able to do. I showed myself a lot of compassion, only self love ruled inside of me at this difficult time.
I had put on all the armors of Christ.
I am happy to say that God became my closest friend due to that experience. He usually tells me stuff I just go about listening. After that wilderness experience my eyes, ears and heart became even more sensitive to him.
Today I was looking for directions on something that had been troubling my mind and then I heard his voice in my mind saying that he has come.
I heard his voice saying that he has sweet bread for me. I hear him like how I hear thoughts in my head. I was so elated waiting to know what he was referring to. Later in the evening I got an information I needed to make up my mind. It was fingerlicking sweet news!
You know what, I have a new best friend, a new best friend, a new best friend. Bye loneliness, sadness, hunger, frustrations, fear, blankness. Bye confusion!